The cheerleaders quickly morphed again--into movers this time--when I rolled down my window to acknowledge them; they unloaded our truck and E's SUV with the precision of an ant farm. It took about three and a half hours to drive to Nashville, and a mere two minutes for E to become a dorm resident. And, after a day of set-up, lunch, a Target run tearful goodbyes, that is where we left him. In a dorm. At Belmont. In Nashville.
God is faithful.
This is what we had hoped for, prayed for and believed in, but it did not go as I hoped or imagined it would. We began praying for God to provide the way for E to go to Belmont last December. First, came the acceptance letter. Ethan was a good student, but not at the top of his class. And let's just say that he and the SAT were not friends. God provided. We prayed again when it came time for auditions to gain entrance to the school of music. E has been teaching guitar for three years, but had not studied classically. God provided. We began praying intensely when he received notice that he had been accepted into the school of music.
The cost to attend Belmont University is about $45,000 per year. Our family makes just enough money to qualify for no financial aid other than the federal Stafford loans. That dropped our need to $39,500. (Sure, Washington! Of course I have that much left over at the end of the year. No problem!) It would take a miracle for E to afford Belmont, and that's what I prayed for, with boldness and expectation.
I had my own idea of how I wanted this story to play out: God would provide, and I would, in His provision, be overwhelmed, hands on my head, knees to the ground, in utter awe. It didn't happen that way. This was God's chance to show the world His power and faithfulness. This could be a faith restorer, a revival starter. Not this time.
Instead, the apparent lack of provision only generated questions.
On top of the $5,500 in federal student loans, Belmont extended a grant that knocked another $7,000 or so off our total due. That gave us hope, but we needed more. I learned about a special circumstances grant. Our ridiculous two years of medical expenses: four surgeries, four ER trips and an out-of-the-blue seizure with bills totaling almost half a million dollars should count as a special circumstance. They did, and more financial aid found its way to our account. We applied for some scholarships and kept up the prayers. Slowly but surely, the balance due came down. E was awarded an additional $1,500 grant, then another $2,000, then a $2,000 scholarship. That original balance fell from $39,500 to $22,000 in a few short months. On top of that, he was asked to interview for a job in Nashville. Was this how God was going to provide?
He brought $17,500 to us, PLUS a possible job. That left E $11,000 short for fall semester, knowing his mom and I could not borrow the money for him. I REALLY wanted God to miraculously, wholly provide the $11,000. He didn't.
I didn't know why, and that bothered me, but we were at a crossroads. Did this end the Belmont dream? Was this direction to go elsewhere? That didn't fell right. E had given up his job, applied to not other colleges and it was too late to enroll at another one for fall classes. We prayed for clear direction, and truthfully, God was largely silent.
My bride of nearly 22 years proposed co-signing a loan for first semester. A buddy, Rodney, advised the same thing. And one afternoon, after a time of prayer, I KNEW that co-signing the loan was the thing to do. I had long believed that if we could just get him to Belmont, God would work out the rest. This was the answer. Confirmation came from a third person, Lynn, who said to me, "I feel like things will happen if you can just get him there." YES! Exactly! The stress I had felt, the confusion, the worry over this need dissipated as soon as we made that decision. The relief was instant.
And, so, we drove to Nashville. E interviewed for his job on the day we moved him in. He was offered the job on the spot. God is providing. He is providing financially, and He is providing a new understanding of how He chooses to work.
First, He directed me to a 12 Stone Church sermon from the book of Nehemiah. The preacher dude noted that Nehemiah and the men of Israel rebuilt the city wall in 52 days while holding a sword in one hand and a trowel in the other. There was no obvious miracle. No stones levitated into place. Nobody walked around the city and blew horns. That wall, he said, was built stone by stone. Sometimes, that's how God accomplishes His will.
Next, standing in Walmart, waiting for a clerk, Shelly Burkhalter appeared from out of nowhere. We talked about this faith journey, and Shelly, as she always does, offered scriptural encouragement. In Mark chapter 4, Jesus points out that the harvest of corn begins with a seed that becomes a blade that becomes a stalk that becomes an ear filled with more seed. Maybe, Shelly said, God is providing this need as we mature, just as corn matures. Wisdom.
On Sunday at church, God provided a third encourager. My buddy Cliff pulled me aside to read to me from Deuteronomy 7. God loves us, and He does not want us to be afraid. "The LORD your God will drive out those nations before you little by little; you will be unable to destroy them at once, lest the beasts of the field become too numerous for you. But the LORD your God will deliver them over to you, and will inflict defeat upon them until they are destroyed." God COULD have miraculously whisked Israel past their enemies, but He chose not to.
So, I'm gonna keep praying and keep believing. God, for some reason, is choosing to do this slowly, incrementally. He knows I would be overwhelmed if He this happened instantly, and He doesn't want that. "Therefore know that the LORD your God, He is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and mercy for a thousand generations with those who love Him and keep His commandments." (Deut. 7:9)
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