I get it. It's fruitless. Faithless.
But when you are in the moment, when there is legitimate cause for concern, what then?
If you are me, you indulge it.
I am a champion worrier.
Money, health, car repairs, decisions, overcommitment, under commitment, each is a royal opportunity for my angst.
So, it should come as no surprise that the discovery of a slow leak beneath my daughter's car brought a quick call to the garage. A rattle on the same car exacerbated the anxiety, and a dead battery and bum alternator a week later sent me over the edge.
The alternator happened on our 22nd wedding anniversary. Flowers and a rented movie were in the front seat of my truck when I received the rescue request--not a good day. The worry didn't creep in slowly like it sometimes does. This was immediate and consuming: towing costs, additional repair costs, the effect on our long-established Dave Ramsey snowball plan, how this might affect E's college tuition, our anniversary celebration, carpooling. I couldn't think.
Why, God, are you doing this? We have sacrificed vacations, carpooled countless days, delayed home repairs and budgeted holidays for the sake of eliminating debt. In two short months our truck will be paid for, and we will pay off two credit cards in our long, hard-fought battle. Just three days prior, I had reiterated to my pastor our commitment not to hold off on buying another car. Now THIS?
"Get ahold of yourself," I told myself. "What did Jesus say?"
In Matthew chapter 6, Jesus says not to worry. He reminds us that birds don't worry about what they will eat or where they will sleep. He tells us that God loves us more than that. He will take care of us. Pagans worry about food, shelter and clothes. God's people don't have to worry about those things. Instead, Jesus tells us, "Seek first the Kingdom of God and his righteousness."
That's it. Rather than worry, seek God first.
That lasted a few days, until my oldest, 200 miles away at college, told me his car wasn't starting like it should. I hoped it would be a battery issue. It wasn't. He needed a starter.
Hello worry.
After working to find a garage in Nashville, the boy had an appointment and good news. The starter was covered under a warranty. The repair would be free. That lasted all of 12 or so hours. E called the next morning. On his way to the garage, he was involved in a wreck. He was OK, but his SUV had to be towed.
This time, though, I didn't worry. Really, I didn't.
I had listened to an Andy Stanley podcast about worry, and this time I asked the question he suggested: Where do I place my faith in this situation, in God or in worry? The answer is obvious. I was reminded to re-label, as Andy suggests, the thing I was worrying about "tomorrow." I was not worrying about a wreck or car repair. I was worrying about tomorrow, and Jesus says not to do that. Unlike the birds, God gave us the ability to sow and reap. We can take action today to help make tomorrow better.
In that moment, I managed to do that. I concentrated on today.
Call AAA. Tow the truck to the garage. Get the starter repaired. That was enough for today.
Just in case I didn't get the message, God wanted to make sure I was clear on this matter, making his point five times.
First, he directed me to an incredible blog post by Rory Feek, whose wife, Joey, after a long, courageous fight with cancer, is dying:
The doctors gave us an estimate of how much time they believe that Joey has, and we both looked at the calendar that hangs by our kitchen door, then I took the calendar off the wall and threw in the trash can.
So we don’t have forever. We’ve got right now.
And that’s enough.
What a compelling thought. Worry won't change the circumstance, and it will rob them of the one thing they do have: today. You should read his post.
Settling at my computer a day or so later, my keyboard was wobbly. I picked it up to examine the cause and found a plain white envelope containing $300. I don't know who left that unexpected gift, but I clearly understood God's message: "I will provide."
Next, I was alerted to a Facebook post by a friend, Natalie Bates, whose leukemia, which had been in remission, has returned. Now a mom to two young girls, she's again being treated with experimental drugs.
I've spent the last few weeks telling fear to step off while Nathan and I discussed the next step in my treatment journey. I learned a long time ago that fear is not my friend and great freedom comes when you recognize that. Unfortunately, my medicine of almost 8 years is no longer working for me...it was a good run but it's time to do something new. ...This is a brand new treatment with potentially new side effects and challenges but I'm optimistic and I feel very peaceful about it.
A few days later, she posted a picture of her and her daughter, with these words:
Addie Kay and I stayed up late making memories by going to the fair and then ghost stories by the fire at Dalton State....it was SO much fun and a night I'll always cherish.
Those are the words of a woman living in the now rather than worrying about tomorrow. Here's a link to
My fourth gift came from a blog post that a co-worker suggested I read. It's a long, detailed post from a woman who works with women in crisis. She learned a lesson from a teen mom who made a series of bad decisions, but has turned to God's word for guidance and strength:
God has a beautiful future and a wonderful man out there for you somewhere, but right now, He wants You to focus on Him so He can remake you." She began to settle down and before long, was sharing with me the 6 new Bible verses she had memorized. ...She was being transformed, and everything about her life and thinking was being made new.
You can read Kim Lewis' post, "Who Needs Rehab???" for yourself, if you like.
Finally, a Facebook friend whom I've never met, wrote about how a routine trip to the gas station became a life-changing personal encounter with God on her own Facebook page. An elderly man purchased $3 worth of gas, and Elizabeth felt the distinct nudge of God to give him money. She tried to ignore the prompting of the Holy Spirit and to rationalize it away, but God persisted until she complied:
I felt so completely out of the will of the Lord, I turned back, slung it in park and grabbed the $20, and flagged him down as he was leaving. He rolled his window down, I could see the question in his eyes that were shielded by wrinkles.
I said, "I know this must be strange, but, this is for you," and I handed it to him.
He looked down.
I continued, "this is blind obedience that I can't explain." I told him how I felt the holy spirit wanted him to have that and how I failed him because I didn't move as soon as I was told.
He looked up, kissed the bill, tears streaming down his face, he balled it up in his hand and lifted his face and hands to heaven and said something I will never forget.... "you ARE real! You ARE real! Thank you, Jesus. It's real. It's real! You are real!" ...
Never question a call God has placed on your life, it may be your blessing too.
God doesn't need "our" money. He breathed life to the world and flung the stars in the sky.... he made it all. He could drop a billion dollars in our hand. He doesn't need our money. He needs blind obedience. What he needs is for Christians to act like it and move when he says.
Here is a link to Elizabeth's post: https://www.facebook.com/elizabeth.harvill/posts/10153113324920308
God is speaking, and I am listening: Take each day as a gift. Don't borrow from tomorrow. God has a wonderful future in store for my family, but right now, he is remaking me. Teaching me to be obedient and to worry not.
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